Hello, all!
I just deleted a full post of apology, then realized how boring and unhumorous (shut up, SpellCheck! It is a word it I want it to be!) it was, so I will just say that I am very sorry for not posting and go on with my blog entry. Here is is:
I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING
Alrighty. So now what I want to talk about is the Mall of America and, in particular, a very strange place inside of it. For those of you who do not know, the Mall of America (or MOA) is one of if not the largest mall in the nation. It is rather remarkable, though those of us who live in the arctic up here in Minnesota tend to take it for granted. Now that you know this mall is not just any ordinary mall, I can continue.
I was at the MOA on Wednesday with my family. Around noon we met up with two of my three cousins for tea at the American Girl Place. As a young one, I had to go to Chicago to experience the overwhelming displays of tubby, bucktoothed dolls from different eras in American History. If you do not know what American Girl dolls are, they are (in a nut shell) dolls from American History. There are seven books to a doll (at least that was the case when I was into them) and for every book the girl has an outfit and accessories. When I was but a little first grader dressing like my doll and bringing her everywhere with me, the concept of American Girl was astounding. A doll WITH books?! SPLENDID!
As a teenager walking through the two-story shop with two little girls who are permanently shocked by the outside world, a mother who misses the days of dolls painfully, a father who used to be a stand up comedian, and a little brother who, and I quote, could "feel my manhood slipping away" with every minute spent in the crimson, star-filled complex, I was less appreciative of the dolls themselves than I was with the marketing strategies around them. For example, when I was younger, you could not get modern outfits for your doll. It was classic clothing for the era or nothing. Nowadays, you can have your doll be a flower girl with you in a wedding, take her horseback riding with you, or even dress her up for all of your favorite sports and hobbies. You can also collect charms that come with certain sets and pieces of furniture. Oh. I should also mention how expensive these dolls are! Parents spend a hundred bucks a pop for dolls that their daughters will outgrow in a few years.
As I realized this, I got to thinking about how awesome it would be if they could reach out to an older audience. I mean, there are girls in my grade who think that the pioneers are a football team and that the great depression was cured by the invention of antidepressants. It wouldn't kill them to get hooked on collecting dolls and reading books about our nation's past. That said, the makers of these dolls would have to drastically change their approach to marketing these things.
For this reason, I have compiled a list of four tips for them to use to sell their products to a wider audience. They do not even mean changing the dolls that much, just maybe have a back room for the older kid stuff. That way the magic isn't ruined for the young ones, but those of us who miss the times of sitting on the floor for hours playing with dolls would also be willing to give them our money. The list is as follows:
1. The doll from the 1970's (Julie) should come with pot. Just sayin'. Also, she should have hairy armpits, not wear a bra, smell like oil, and come with feminist picket signs. She should have beads in her hair and her books should come with a few chapters of hallucinations.
2. Molly (the WWII time period doll) should fall in love with a soldier who is about to be shipped out. Pregnancy due to this brief romance is optional, but encouraged.
3. Kaya (the native American Girl) should be changed completely. Firstly, she is from the 1760's (before America was technically a country). Secondly, things were not peaceful and happy for tribes of Native peoples at this time. They were driven from their land, infected with deadly illnesses that wiped out entire populations, and were no longer able to get as much food as before due to lack of bison and the need to run away rather than follow their food. If these things were incorporated into the books, they would not be appropriate for young audiences, but they would be more accurate.
4. Give the teenage dolls boyfriends! Add a little romance! Also, you could sell the boyfriend dolls and appeal to the demographic of "little boys who play with dolls". I know more of them than one might think. Of course, Julie would not have a boyfriend. She doesn't need a man tying her down! Plus, she might be a lesbian. She should, however, have a gay best friend. His name should be Butch. 'Nuff said.
Well, that is it for now. If you know anyone who works at American Girl, pitch the idea for me, would ya? I have to go now, but I promise to be more diligent about posting form now on.
Happy New Year, Louisa!
~Rayna
P.S. HOLY CRAP CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT IT IS ALMOST 2011?!
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